In the days around a funeral, the memorial cards are often the very last thing on anyone’s mind — and that’s exactly as it should be. So it’s no surprise that one of the questions we’re asked most often is the simplest one: when are these meant to be given out? Have we left it too late? Is there a right time?
The short, kind answer is that there’s no wrong time — and you almost certainly haven’t missed it.
When are memorial cards usually given?
Traditionally, memorial cards are handed out at the funeral or the removal. But here’s the thing nobody tells you: they very often aren’t ready in time. Cards take a little while to print, and the days right after a death are full to the brim with other things. If yours weren’t done for the funeral, you’ve done nothing wrong — that’s the ordinary way of it for a great many families.
So most cards are given a little later. Some are posted out to the people who sent sympathy or came to the funeral. Some are kept in a small pile by the door at home, for callers. And very many are given out at the Month’s Mind.
What is a Month’s Mind?
If you grew up in Ireland this needs no explaining — but plenty of people marrying into a family, or living abroad, meet it for the first time at a hard moment, so it’s worth saying plainly.
A Month’s Mind is a Mass held about a month after the death, to remember the person and to gather the people who loved them once the first shock has eased. It’s a quieter, gentler occasion than the funeral. The exact day is arranged with the parish and slotted into the Mass schedule, so it’s whatever date suits — “about a month” rather than a fixed deadline.
It’s one of the loveliest of the old Irish customs: a second gathering, when the house has gone quiet and the cards and casseroles have stopped arriving, to stand together and remember.
Memorial cards for the Month’s Mind
Because cards so often aren’t ready for the funeral, the Month’s Mind is a natural occasion to give them out — or to have them ready on the day for people to take. A lot of families plan it this way on purpose. It takes the pressure off: you’ve time to choose the photo and settle on the wording without the fog of the first few days pressing on you.
Can you order memorial cards after the funeral?
Yes — easily, and often. There is no deadline on this. Plenty of people order their cards weeks or even months after the funeral, and the person is remembered no less for the card arriving later. If anything, choosing when the worst of the rush has passed tends to make for a better card — a clearer photo, words that sound truly like them.
So if you’re reading this weeks on and wondering whether the moment has gone, it hasn’t. Order them whenever you feel ready.
The first anniversary, and beyond
Memorial cards aren’t only a funeral thing. Many families mark the first anniversary — the anniversary Mass, a year on — with a card, sometimes a fresh batch for those who’ve asked, sometimes a single keepsake to hold on to. Some return to them at later anniversaries too. Remembering someone doesn’t run to a timetable, and neither do the cards.
When you’re ready to choose the wording
Once the timing’s settled and you turn to what actually goes on the card — the verse, the prayer, the blessing — we’ve gathered a good range to help you start, organised by length, by faith, by relationship, and in both English and Irish. And if you’d like a hand choosing, or you’re not sure how something will sit on the card, we’re always glad to talk it through before anything is printed.
There’s no clock on remembering someone. Take the time you need.